The child bites and beats mother. What to do?
Probably, all of us saw on the street, in transport, shops of kids which show aggression in relation to the mothers. One kick it, others rush with fists, the third at all bite. Why it occurs and how it is correct to treat similar behavior of the child?
Every day in life of the kid there are situations which cause in it strong experiences, feelings, emotions. The world is unpredictable, and often something occurs "not in my opinion", causing a rage, irritation, offense. The child, especially if it already learned to quash the feelings, does not react to incident in the moment and slowly accumulates tension. The toy fell and broke, on itself spilled juice, received unfairly a box on the ear in a sandbox – in his life enough reasons for experiences.
At some instant the child can try to "win back" feeling of a rage on mother, and it will be promoted definitely by the atmosphere reigning in a family. If the child grows in permissiveness, such behavior will be shown and will be fixed, at silent approval of adult members of the family.
In most cases on aggression manifestation from the child inadequate reaction – indifference and ignoring follows, mother «does not pay attention». Or even approval of its actions – with the kid follows, indifferently, continue to be lisped. Mother does not see a problem in such behavior of the child: «After all it small. Will outgrow also itself will stop». Such connivance deprives of the child of possibility to receive normal, proper response to the behavior. After all if it was not the child, or even another’s child, reaction would be absolutely other.
The dispassionateness position when mother does not wish to adjoin to that occurs to the child, and consciously to correct his behavior, is rather popular in our society. «All is possible for such child», but actually it grows in loneliness, itself consults with the tension. If he feels that mother does not designate border legal, it will safely "merge" on it tension that will be expressed in stings, blows, kicks, shouts and hysterics.
The toy broke – we will beat mother, in a sandbox took away a shovel – it is possible to recoup also on mother. More adult children show in relation to mother aggression already on a habit in a situation when circumstances develop not how it would be desirable, when to them rebuked, there was a quarrel to the friend… In any situation causing a rage. To be angry with mother safely, it will not offend, and here if to become angry on the friend on a sandbox, it is possible to be hit a shovel in a forehead.
Thus, mother whom bite, not only hands over the borders – the child does not feel subordination, but also does the child a disservice – deprives of possibility to study in proper response in a stressful situation, to understand and express the feelings pertinently and adequately – to volume, a lump they are addressed.
Task of the parent is not only to feed, give to drink and warmly to dress the child. The parent nearby to show to the child how to behave in this or that situation. Looking at how the parent reacts, what emotions shows, the child learns the world.
That is the first that it is necessary to make, if the child showed aggression, bit – to react to it correctly. To show the feelings, to show that it is unpleasant to you that it angers you – and by that to give out proper response to aggression manifestation in relation to itself.
The second – to show to the child of border of the legal. Accurately and rather rigidly to designate, what so to arrive in relation to you wrong, it is impossible. To let know to the child that such behavior in relation to the parent, to the adult person is inadmissible. To designate borders to the child it is necessary constantly, without waiting «special cases». It is good if to correct behavior there are both parents, the father can react also to undesirable behavior of the child, holding it and pronouncing that «it is impossible to beat mother».
And to be sure that all of you do correctly, do not regret time to address to the children’s psychologist – the expert the opinion on an emotional condition and development of the child will tell and will make recommendations how to grow up it psychologically healthy.