Influence power, though, is not real power. If we told mothers, "The more children you have, the more power you will have,” they would laugh. If we then said, "The more children you have, the more everyone will love you and respect you,” the mother would feel pressured, not empowered. But when we tell men, "The more people you supervise, the more power you will have," they buy it. Real power does not come from caving in to pressure to expand obligations, it comes from controlling our own life.

Historically, a husband spent the bulk of his day under the eye of his boss – his source of income, a wife did not spend the bulk of her day under the eye of her husband – her source of income. She had more control over her work life than he had over his