In brief, our genetic heritage is in conflict with our genetic future. For the first time in human history, the qualities it takes to survive as a species are compatible with the qualities it takes to love To love the other sex, to love our children – by a Stage II definition of love. The challenge for a woman is to create enough economic independence that she doesn’t compromise love for an economic safety net. The challenge for a man is understanding how preparation for Stage I protection is really preparation for disconnec­tion – from children, wife, and life. The Stage I man had a role that was more disconnected from intimacy than the Stage I female role of nurturer. Which is why the challenge for men to enter Stage II is even greater than the challenge for women.

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To conclude that men did not have the power, though, we must be more secure that the male role in the past has not, after all, been just a way of keeping women in their place. We must deal with denying women the vote, treating women as property and second-class citizens; objectifying them as concubines, harems, and prostitutes, stoning them as witches; not writing them into constitutions; denying them access to roles of leadership, jobs outside the home, and so on. We must see if power, patriarchy, dominance, and sexism were code words for male privilege or male disposability.

CHAPTER З