If a woman feels sexually harassed, encourage her to tell the man directly. How do I know this will work’ Well, when two feminists compiled the sexual harassment stories of 100 women, every single man who was told by a woman directly that she felt his behavior was harassing her stopped immediately.33 All of the men apologized, some brought in flowers. When women do not understand men’s vulnerability, they miss the degree to which men want to please women, not anger women. Thus the authors who compiled these hundred stories never noticed how each of the men who was informed immediately stopped!

Second, give both sexes an understanding of the other sex’s best intent. 1 low, for example, both sexes are doing what we are doing because that was functional for millions of years (men: pursue, persist; women: attract, resist), but how it is no longer functional in an age of equality.

Third, socialize both sexes to share responsibility for taking sexual initiatives. Without shared responsibility’, sexual harassment legislation will be just another hoop through which men at work must jump to prove themselves worthy of loving women at work.

Fourth, the adult feminist – as opposed to the adolescent feminist – will encourage women to share the expectation of risking the first kiss on the lips, the first caress on the genitals. Only the adolescent feminist fails to place as much emphasis on resocializing women to take direct initiatives and resorts instead to encouraging women to sue the men who do it badly and marry the men who do it right (if they are the right men initiating it at the right moment). The adult feminist is willing to exchange the power of indirect initiative taking for the responsibility of direct initiative taking. «She is willing to exchange victim power for adulthood.

Fifth, instead of articulating sexual harassment via the perspectives of the women’s movement, raise the level of discussion to sexual contact via the perspective of a gender transition movement.

All forms of sexual contact at work and at school are best dealt with by the institution’s improving communication rather than the government’s man­dating legislation. The potential damage to the institution gives the institu­tion an incentive to correct it. This is not a perfect solution. It is only more perfect than having government legislation of sexual nuance with its potential for annihilating anyone we dislike via a false accusation.