When I ask women in my audiences who had entered the workplace when single and later gotten married to "raise your hand if you married a man you met at work (or through a workplace contact – a client, or someone to whom you were a client)," almost two thirds raised their hands.21 Another 15 percent of these women lived with or had a long relationship with a man they met while on the job, but never married him. Now here’s the dilemma.

The majority of the men these working women married were above them at work, additionally, almost all of these men took the first initiative. Sexual initiatives by men toward women below them at work is the most frequent definition of sexual harassment. When it works, it’s called courtship. When it doesn’t work, it’s called harassment.

Isn’t it harassment only when he persists? Not legally. For some women, any initiative – even one – could make her feel uncomfortable and therefore create a hostile environment. And that is all she needs to have her lawsuit upheld.

Many women acknowledge being married to men to whom they had at first said no. By today’s standards, they are married to sexual harassers; but some of these women are glad these men pursued.