Why is a woman three times more likely than a man to attempt suicide? We often hear it is because she wants attention, but that doesn’t leave us with an understanding of what she wants the attention to accomplish: she wants to become the priority of those she loves rather than always prioritizing them. She is tired of love being defined as her being there for others rather than others being there for her That is accomplished by an "attempted" suicide – which is really not an attempted suicide but a warning signal, just as an orange traffic light is not an attempted red light but a warning signal.

Many men have a deep need to send warning signals, but their belief that they have no right to ask others to rescue them from a disaster they feel they must have brought upon themselves keeps them from even letting them­selves know they have that need They also know that the admission of some failure can in reality lead to more failure, because when colleagues and friends see some failure, the result is fewer referrals, fewer promotions, and therefore a greater likelihood of financial failure. This gives men but a tiny opening in which to experiment with asking others for help. So they tough it out in isolation. If they’ succeed, fine, if they don’t, well, no one will love them, they’re a nothing, no, they’re worse than a nothing – they are a burden.

I believe men who commit suicide, then, do it when they feel either that (1) no one loves them or needs them (and therefore it is not selfish) or, worse, (2) that they are a burden on those they love.