How to understand, what the man is not going to marry you?
The civil marriage is when the woman considers that it married, and the man – that it is free.
Statistically, approximately for 10 % it is less than married men, than married women. Probably, it is possible to explain it only to that the women living in unregistered (civil as now speak) marriage, consider themselves married, and men call things by their proper names. Though initially civil marriage designated the marriage registered in state authorities, but not last ceremony of wedding in church.
However, in legal language that we understand as a civil marriage, is called as cohabitation. But gentle female ears do not want to hear such phrase. Represent, how you acquaint the darling with friends?
– Get acquainted, it is Serezha, my roommate.
And you would like to carry the proud name "concubine" or that your daughter so called? Here also we think out names more beautifully that both hearing did not cut, and feelings did not offend. Here and it is necessary to live: with illegitimate children, with illegitimate husbands.
How to understand, what the civil husband never will decide to move you in the REGISTRY OFFICE? Very often in a civil marriage there live the loving each other man and the woman who want to check the relations and to adapt to joint life. There are three options of development of the relations:
1. Having lived some time together, loving people understand that to them well with each other, and go to undersign and get married. Sometimes they to it are pushed by pregnancy – but it is not obligatory, most likely, they and came to a determination to legalize the relations. Laziness to read? Then listen!
Ilona Groshev reads
To download in a MP3 (4.3 Mb/07:08 of minute)
2. Having lived some time together, lovers understand that darling – "he’s not my type" and disperse. Or under the influence of external circumstances and "benevolent" relatives and friends.
3. Having lived some time together … One of «civil spouses» (usually the woman, but sometimes happens and on the contrary) starts to think that it would be time and under a wreath – you already long enough checked the relations. To you it is together good, now it is possible both to twist a family nest and to reflect on children – a watch tick. A biological watch, instead of those works of art from Cartier. The second spouse too says that everything well and why something to change, let well alone. Successors can be got both then, and in general the stamp in the passport does not influence in any way presence/lack of children – there would be a desire, physiological and material possibilities.
Here the conflicts also begin: hidden (if the woman tries to bring tactfully darling to thought on a family) or obvious (when after several years of quiet joint life the woman can "be enraged" and start to sort out the relations concerning the status of the relations, and the man does an uncomprehending face – to what all this).
Arguments of not circulation in the REGISTRY OFFICE can be the most various.
1. The princess will catch, will band and will turn into the Baba-yaga.
While we are single, the wife – silk, tender, from 5 dishes makes dinners and dinners, nosochka irons, massage does, in sex all is possible. As soon as I marry – will begin to take away all money, not to start up with friends on beer, to saw, roll on a sofa and to look series. Will give birth to children, will grow fat and will cease to care of me.
а) most likely, the man or his acquaintances already had a bitter experience;
б) in the childhood mother too often read it fairy tales about Ivan Tsarevicha and the Tsarevna the Frog, probably, the fairy tale was a little modified and added;
в) the man wants to have on you at least such unreliable lever of pressure, as future campaign behind a stamp (you will be the good girl – we will get married), the period of a trial period and obedience – termless;
г) he really is not going on you to marry, you – not that woman of whom he dreams, but after all it is so convenient, when near at hand (and other places) the obedient and loving woman, ready to make everything, everything marrying.
2. Good business by marriage do not call.
а) he too well remembers quarrels of parents, the brother or the best friend, the family is duties and a continuous headache;
б) you – not his dream, you already know the rest.
3. I am yet ready.
Yes, darling I love you, but I should buy the apartment, to begin the director general (to earn one million, to depart to space, to get the Nobel premium, … At everyone the cockroaches, I’m sorry, dreams in the head). The question of that, how many labor five-years periods will leave on apartment purchase, how many problems at the general director and whether it is possible for cosmonauts to have children, remains open. Goals are how real, whether there are they more realizable or and remain in the field of a fantasy – too.
4. The girl outstripped events.
а) after a declaration of love and several joint nights of love the girl hopes at once to hear the hand and heart offer that is improbable (her darling even yet was not defined, whether to cease to meet to it other women and whether to call the former girlfriend), however, there are exceptions;
б) having seen (having heard, having felt) the discontent of darling, the man can be solved on "koltsevaniye" ahead of schedule.
If the man does not want to marry – it is not necessary to drag violently it in the REGISTRY OFFICE or specially to try to become pregnant from it. The good husband he never becomes, and why to you bad?
If you love it and are ready to wait and gradually to overpersuade – wait and overpersuade. Guarantees that in 5-7 years it will not ripen to thought on a family and children and will not begin to achieve YOUR dreams with younger and less stirred up life (and to it) the woman – any.
If you are ready to give birth to the child and to take responsibility for it on yourselves – May god speed you, and suddenly in it the fatherly instinct will wake up, but be not under a delusion, count only on the forces.
If you live together more than five years and he still is not ready – as you think, he will manage to "ripen" to your retirement?
P.S. Article playful. Generally. But many a true word is spoken in jest.