Parenting out of control
t is always a delightful moment to turn to this part of a manuscript. Not only is this an indication that yes, at last, the process of writing is almost complete, but it is also a time to offer thanks rather than simply to accumulate debts. And so, with a great sense of relief, I thank the following people and institutions.
My first thanks go to the many men and women who agreed to be interviewed for this project. Without their willingness to take time out of busy lives, to look inside themselves, and to provide candid answers to probing questions, this book could not have come into being. They are, of course, nameless here. My second thanks is to the interviewers who took time out of their busy lives to ask those probing questions. And these I can name: Paul Barnwell, Katie Edwards, Kate Elias, Adam Fazio, Jenny Harris, Liz Kofman, Mary Mendoza, Ana Rita Pergolizzi, Susan Reagan, Dena Simmonds, Susan Wargo, and Lauren Ziegler.
I have received significant financial support from Middlebury College in conjunction with the A. Barton Hepburn Chair. I appreciate each and every penny. I appreciate as well the support from a Mellon Grant for a course reduction as this project was getting under way and the encouragement and flexibility of Carol Rifelj, who was the dean for faculty development at that time.
I have had wonderful student assistants at various stages of the project, including Katie Hylas, Kristin Haas, and Julia Szabo. Val Benka—long past being my student—did her usually magnificent job of editing as I was putting on the final touches.
During the past couple years, a group of colleagues have offered all sorts of vital support. Laurie Essig (with help from Lynn Owens and Rebecca Tiger) invented the title. Rebecca Tiger made sure that I was not off-base in my discussion of “control.” Karen Hansen knocked sense into my head when in response to my muttering that this project was maybe too hard she said, “They’re all hard. They’re just hard in different ways.” Naomi Gerstel and Anita Garey both read drafts at crucial stages and offered invaluable advice. I
take responsibility for my own errors; I credit Naomi and Anita with saving me from far more numerous ones.
My editor at NYU Press, Непе Kalish, supported this project from the start. At the same time, she sent me back to the drawing board more than once. Though I did not always show my appreciation of her critiques at the time, I’m happy to acknowledge that she was right. As the manuscript moved into production, Aiden Amos, Despina Papazoglou Gimbel, and Andrew Katz played important roles.
On a daily basis I rely on a number of wonderful friends and family members, including Emily Abel, Charlene Barrett, Jane Chaplin, Sonja Olson, Burke Rochford, and, especially, Bill Nelson. I am grateful that I have these people in my life.