Many men (and women too) do not know exactly what to do with the female genitals. What feels good? Rubbing? Can rubbing hurt? Can anything break? When does a woman like to have her clitoris touched? Where do women like to be touched? Men and women who worry about these questions may become overly cautious or eager in touching a woman’s clitoris and vulva.

Because each woman differs in how she likes her clitoris stroked or rubbed, it is im­portant that partners talk openly. The majority of women enjoy a light caressing of the shaft of the clitoris, along with an occasional circling of the clitoris, and maybe digital (finger) penetration of the vagina. Other women dislike direct stimulation and prefer to have the clitoris rolled between the lips of the labia. Women report that clitoral stimu­lation feels best when the fingers are well lubricated. K-Y Jelly or a woman’s own lubri­cation can be used. Some women like to have the entire area of the vulva caressed, whereas others like the caressing to be focused on the clitoris.

Some women like it when their partners begin by lightly caressing their thighs, stomach, and entire mons area. Other women like to have their partners gently part the labia and softly explore the inner vulva. As a woman gets more excited she may breathe more deeply and/or moan, and her muscles may become tense. Stopping stimulation when a partner is close to orgasm can be very frustrating for her. It is best for partners to communicate openly about what is most enjoyable.