Female: When my boyfriend and I had sex in the car. We were so excited that he for­got to turn the car off. Somehow we pushed the car down and it started rolling down the hill. We didn’t know un­til we hit a tree and crashed up my Dad’s car.

Female: When I had a one-night stand that I didn’t want to have happen. He kept trying, and I finally gave in. It sucked, and he sucked.

Female: I had sex with one guy that everyone wanted in high school. He was the most gorgeous guy in our school. I found out he was also the worst kisser ever. He slobbered all over me and then he couldn’t get it up.

Male: Having sex with a girl I really had no interest in. I just felt dirty and wrong for having sex just for the sake of having sex.

Male: Having sex with someone much older who later confessed that she lied about her age and was really 20 years older than me.

Male: When I called my girlfriend the wrong name dur­ing sex. This resulted in a huge fight and it was a mess.

Source: Author’s files.

Are there gender differences in sexual fantasy? On the surface, it appears so. But we have to be careful in interpreting these findings. It could be that men have an easier time discussing their sexual fantasies than women. In one study, almost every woman reported using sexual fantasy on a regular basis (Strassberg & Lockerd, 1998).

Try thinking for a moment about your own sexual fantasies. Where do they take place? With whom? What activities do you engage in? (Remember that having a fantasy does not necessarily mean you want to engage in that particular activity or be with that particular person.) If you feel comfortable, you might try sharing your fantasies with your partner.

Question: I’ve always had a fantasy about having sex in a very public place, with lots of people watching. I don’t really want to try this, but the thought turns me on. Am I weird?

The Worst Sexual ExperienceПодпись:Подпись: Describe the research on sexual fantasy, ^noting any gender differences. A Swedish online questionnaire found that one-third of men and women reported engaging in cybersex (sexual behaviors while online; Ross et al., 2005). Fantasies are private mental experiences that involve sexually arous­ing thoughts or images. They are used for many different reasons, but primarily to heighten sexual arousal. Having sexual fantasies does not mean you want certain events to happen. It can be a turn-on to think about having sex with a lot of people watching, even though you would never do it in real life. Researchers today have found that sexual fantasies are a concern only if they interfere with healthy sexual expression or the development of partner intimacy (Block, 1999).