Category THE MISCELLANY of Sex



‘Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.’ Lynda Barry


The association of smoking and sex was fired up by Hollywood and the advertising world, with stars like Bogart and Bacall apparently inviting the smoker to share their exotic lifestyles. Ad campaigns in the 19th century had used risque pictures of scantily clad women and dancers. In the 20th century, however, smokers wanted to identify with their pin-up idols, to acquire some of their sexual charisma. They were duly bombarded with sophisticated advertising that promised men sexual success and women mystery and allure. Stars like Rock Hudson, Greta Garbo, Marlene Dietrich and Lana Turner were used. Artist George Petty, whose famous Petty Girls were usually found in Esquire, produced ads for Old Gold in the 1930s: a small bald guy was accompanied by leggy young dream girls, with the message’For young ideas! Stimulating… but never irritating.’ In 1952, Marilyn Monroe appeared on Diplomat Cigarettes in a sexy black lace number this was actually an overprint on a nude photograph she had posed for in a 1951 calendar, but the effect was equally appealing. Audrey Hepburn, with the must-have sexual fashion accessory, a cigarette holder, dangling from her fingers, epitomized elegance in Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961). In 1969, cigarette commercials were banned from TV.

Sex and the cigarette

Подпись:SEX AND THE CIGARETTE‘A woman is an occasional pleasure, but a cigar is always a smoke.’ Groucho Marx *

Подпись: 'Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.' Woody Allen

SEX AND THE CIGARETTECigarettes and sex came as a package; a shared cigarette began a relationship or ended a memorable sex session. In Now Voyager (19), Bette Davis and Paul Henreid shared cigarettes as a metaphor for sex; in Chinatown (1974), Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway share a cigarette after sex; in Grease (1978), the moment Sandy becomes sexy and finally wins Danny’s desire is when she coolly impresses him with her new habit and stubs out a cigarette with her c stiletto sandal. Airplane (1980) parodies the post-coital cigarette cliche in the scene where Julie Hagerty and Otto the inflatable automatic pilot smoke after she has blown him in a scene made to look like oral

‘I have always wanted a mistress who was fat, and I have never found one. To make a fool of me, they are always pregnant.’ Paul Gauguin, 1848-1903


. FEEL THE BENEFITThe English word ‘penis’ comes from Latin and it originally
meant the tail of an animal. ‘Репе’ is Latin for ‘inside’ and it
may have implied the part that goes inside (the vagina). The
correct plural is either ‘penes’ or ‘penises’.

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Ithyphallophobia is a fear of seeing, thinking about or
having an erect penis.

Подпись: Cosmopolitan magazine's top five male erogenous zones 0 Cremaster Muscle 0 Prostate 0 Lips 0 Nipples 0 Perineum top ten female erogenous zones © Inner thighs Q Behind the knees © Buttocks 0 Nape of the neck © Ears © Feet © Wrists e Breasts (nipples) 0 Vag ina/clitoris © Lips

‘The mind can also be an erogenous zone.’ Raquel Welch

‘You’re a woman of many parts, Pussy.’ James Bond, Goldfinger


. FEEL THE BENEFITMany researchers believe humans give off aphrodisiacal pheromones, scents which affect sexual desire and behaviour, and suggest healthy offspring. In 1996, Swiss scientist Claus Wedekind studied 44 men, who each wore a T-shirt for two days without washing. The unwashed T-shirts were given to a group of women to smell and choose partners.

The men with similar immune systems to the women’s own were compared with their fathers or brothers; they preferred the men whose immune systems were most different.

‘Blake said that the body was the soul’s prison unless the five senses
are fully developed and open. He considered the senses the "windows
of the sold". When sex involves all the senses intensely, it can be like
a mystical experience.’ Jim Morrison, the Doors

Подпись: Quickies

♦ ‘Dressing’ is when a man positions ‘the family jewels’ to one side of the trousers.

•♦•In 2006, Spam-

Filter-Review. com found 19 per cent of spam to be of an adult nature.

♦ An ‘alley affair’ is sex in a deserted public space.

♦ A lucky Pierre is a male three-way.

♦ With the average amount of sex a typical American couple has, it would take them about four years to get through all of the 529 positions of the Kama Sutra.

♦ About 500 Americans die each year from asphyxia during sex.

♦ Using a strap-on dildo on a


called ‘pegging’.

♦ A cuckold was

an adulterous woman in medieval times, who made a ‘cuckoo’ of her husband, just as the female bird would lay eggs in

another bird’s nest, freeing her from all


♦ Baisiexia is sexual arousal from kissing.

♦ An American trombone is a

threesome with the woman

bending over in the middle.

♦ Dry humping is usually

performed on the dance floor, or anywhere it would be inappropriate to get undressed, and means getting as intimate as possible with clothes on.

♦ A ‘train’ is a line of people waiting to have sex or a line of men each penetrating the man in front.

♦ A booty call is a reliable source of last-minute sex, generally like ordering a pizza. A booty break is time off from sex.

Sex and the cigarette


‘I used both hands to hide
My blushing, sweating cheeks. Indeed, I tried.

But oh, what could I do, then, when I found
My bodice splitting of its own accord?’

From When His Mouth Faced My Mouth, Amaru, c. ad800,
translated by John Brough

The female response cycle is in three stages of desire, arousal and orgasm:

♦ Physical and mental stimulation

♦ Vaginal lubrication

♦ Vagina lengthens, distends and walls fill with blood

♦ Labia is erect

♦ Clitoris is erect

♦ Breasts swell

♦ Nipples become erect

♦ Uterus and cervix move forward

♦ Heart rate increases

♦ Blood pressure rises

♦ Skin visibly flushed

♦ Vagina changes to resemble a tent shape

♦ Vagina exudes secretion

Orgasm produces limb jerking and powerful trembling; the uterus and anus contract; and orgasmic contractions are similar to the male. Some women can experience multiple orgasms.

‘Sex can still be great, even without an orgasm.’

Kristin Davis



SEX TECHPopular internet-based simulation Second Life is experiencing more and more sexual activity. Cybersex is becoming one of its most popular online activities, with the virtual world playing host to sex clubs for fans of long-distance computer love. Sex is limited to specialist sex zones, where users can begin with chat and description, and then move on to animated sex. Now programmers are taking things forward with specially designed genitals for players and complex ‘in-world’ sex toys. The fantasy element means control: users decide how sexy they wish to be and how much cyberskin to reveal, what kind of body parts and props they want and what they can do. The idea is to customize personal desires.



Professor Carl Djerassi, whose discoveries played a huge part in the development of the Pill, the groundbreaking contraceptive, in the 1960s, making sex without children possible, is now focusing on the next cultural revolution: children without sex. With women spending more time on careers and egg-freezing methods, such as vitrification, advancing all the time, he predicts an increasing number will freeze their eggs for use when the time is right to start a family. With independence, education and financial stability as well as a longer lifespan, women are no longer such dependent beings.






The male response cycle is in three stages:





Blood pressure rises Heart rate increases Skin temperature rises Pupils dilate

Nipples can become erect Body muscles tense Skin visibly flushed




Sexual • Excitement •








Orgasm is the release of muscular tension and engorged blood vessels. Semen is expelled in rhythmic contractions, reaching a peak of flow, then a reduction to smaller spurts. Few men experience second and third orgasms.

‘Men don’t fake orgasm –
no man wants to pull a face like that on purpose.’

Allan ‘Mr Body Language’ Pease


Living dolls

In 2006, Henrik Christensen of the European Research Network told The Sunday Times, ‘People are going to be having sex with robots within five years.’ Sex dolls have been around for hundreds of years and dames de voyage, lifesize females made of cloth, were particularly popular aboard ships. These days cheap vinyl blow-ups are run of the mill, but if you want the Rolls-Royce of ‘gentlemen’s companions’, then Abyss Creations’ ‘realdolls’ are a snip at $6,499. With nine heads to choose from, five porn-standard body styles and three working orifices supplied as standard, you can create your own idealized version of womanhood with perfect silicone skin, ‘breasts that can stand 400 per cent elongation without tearing’ and ‘articulated skeletons which allow for anatomically correct positioning’. Other models include the Male as well as the She-Male, and Abyss are looking to supply electronic and animatronic versions in the very near future. In the meantime, even if a realdoll can’t do the hoovering, you’re guaranteed she won’t talk back or run up a huge bill on your credit card.

‘Today’s transgender movement is a roiling, radical critique of the
limit of gender roles, with folks living in totally new categories,
such as non-op transsexual, TG butch, femme queen, gender-queer,
cross-dresser, third gender, drag king or queen and transboy.

A person with breasts and a penis may dress and identify as a
woman and have a sexual preference for women. In the 21st
century all the aspects of sexual dimorphism are up for mix and
match to suit our psychological needs and aesthetic preferences.

By the 22nd century, when we are facing indefinite lifespans,
tweaks to biological gender will become increasingly common, to
stay in fashion, to improve your chances in life and love, or
just out of curiosity.’

James Hughes, Executive Director, Institute for Ethics and Emerging Technologies

Living dolls

Living dollsLiving dolls

You know you’re addicted to web porn when… you tilt your head to
the side every time you smile.

SEX TOMORROW. ‘I can remember when the air was clean and the sex was dirty.’. George Burns 1896-1996

SEX TOMORROW. 'I can remember when the air was clean and the sex was dirty.'. George Burns 1896-1996SEX TOMORROW. 'I can remember when the air was clean and the sex was dirty.'. George Burns 1896-1996Peering through a telescope into the future, it appears that, thanks to science, our sex lives are about to take off as never before. We will take advantage of advances in surgical techniques to acquire perfect bodies, make use of ‘neuromacrosensing’ which sends in microscopic ‘nanobots’ to caress sensitive areas with pinpoint accuracy (producing unprecedented orgasms) and, in the coming world of virtual reality, we’ll be able to ‘hold orgies on the moon of Jupiter, on lambskin rugs, with cherubim as an attentive audience’ – well, that’s according to James Hughes (see p.183). Now that scientists are likely to take over the messy business of procreation, sex will be purely for pleasure. Leaving aside one worrying question – if we no longer need our sex organs for procreation, will evolution rid us of them? – futurologists are predicting drugs which sort out every kind of sexual malfunction and switch libido on and off like a light, ‘teledildos’ operated by computer for those who like to be probed from afar and underwear packed with sensors for couples bored with the limitations of current video games. In the future, everybody will have their own ‘bio-tailors’, godlike doctors who can give or take away breasts, sort you out with a penile implant or two and who will run you up a bespoke sex life in exchange for a large bag of money. The possibilities are endless.


DO BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN?Are blondes really dumb and dependent on men, and why is this attractive? Are Tinkerbell, Cinderella and Goldilocks good role models, or is it all one big fairy tale? Could blondes actually be dark horses who know exactly how to get what they want?

‘I can be smart when it’s important, but most men don’t like it.’
Marilyn Monroe in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953)

Blonde Ambition

The evolution of the blonde, 11,000 years ago, happened during the Ice Age to help gain advantage in sexual selection. At a time when males were scarce, blondes stood out among their predominantly dark European rivals, first creating the idea of blonde appeal in men’s minds.

Gentlemen No Longer Prefer Blondes In the West, blonde hair is still regarded as a positive and attractive attribute in women. From the 1950s to the 1980s, research showed a considerable number of blondes were used in ads and magazines, with Playboy promoting the sexy blonde and 84 per cent of women believing men preferred blondes. However, the actual percentage was 35.

‘Blonde jokes don’t bother me because I know I’m not dumb
and I know I’m not blonde.’ Dolly Parton

DO BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN?DO BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN?In Greek mythology, the most desirable characters and gods
were blond, from Helen of Troy to Aphrodite.

♦ ♦♦

The Romans wore pillaged Nordic plaits as trophies.

Подпись: • All top 10 finalists of the 2007 Miss Universe were brunettes. • In AD300, Christians believed the blonde naked Venus represented evil. • In 2007, a survey by Sunsilk and Askmen showed that 85% of men preferred brunettes for intelligence, marriage and sex. • The International Blondes Association was set up by disgruntled blondes in Finland in 1998. • In ЗбОвс, Praxiteles created a statue of a blonde Aphrodite, inspiring women to lighten their Mir and the poet Menander to say, 'No cMste woman ought to make her hair yellow.' Подпись: • Queen Elizabeth I chose blond hair as a symbol of virtue. • According to Jerry Oppenheime/s biography, Paris Hilton's parents are proud of the sex video that made her a star. • Anita Loos, author of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1925) also wrote the sequel, But Gentlemen Marry Brunettes (1928). • A 2006 poll at UK slwpping mall Lakeside named Dame Helen Mirren as the sexiest older woman. • Durex named first blond Bond Daniel Craig as the sexiest man in the world, with David Becklmm at number seven.

Dumb blondes

The sexy, fun-loving, promiscuous dumb blonde stereotype was promoted by Hollywood icons, such as Jean Harlow and Marilyn Monroe. In Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953), while both blonde and brunette are sexy, Monroe is the vacuous gold-digger, and Jane Russell is sharp and witty, but the real message is female sexual power. The list of headlining blondes goes on and on, including Mae West, Bridget Bardot, Jayne Mansfield, Grace Kelly, Kim Novak, Diana Dors, Debbie Reynolds, Margaret Thatcher, Lady Diana, Sharon Stone and Scarlett Johansson. Blond men have often been portrayed as weak or villainous, leaving the tall, dark and handsome to take the romantic lead, with the exception of men and women’s men Steve McQueen, Paul Newman and Robert Redford, and now the likes of David Beckham, Daniel Craig and Brad Pitt, who are giving the tall, dark and handsome a run for their money.


SKIN DEEPIn Greek and Roman times, bathing was communal with a focus on cleanliness rather than sex. * In ancient India, some male spiritual groups participated in a disciplined naked existence, while the Hindu sect of the Sakas celebrated nudity and sex as natural. * The Jain religion still practises nudity today. * In the Middle Ages, the Christian Church linked nudity to ‘original sin’and cited women as the ‘daughters of Eve’so covering up became a necessity. * The Bonfire of the Vanities in Florence in 1497 witnessed the destruction of ‘sinful’ Renaissance paintings featuring too much human flesh. * The prudish Chinese thought that classical Christian paintings of draped saints were pornographic. * In Victorian England, when nudity was considered indecent, the naughty postcard became extremely popular. Mostly produced in French studios they ranged from artful poses to the downright obscene. * The first nudist colony in the UK, known as the Moonella Group, was founded in 1924 in Essex, while the first nudist event in the USA took place in woods outside New York in response to an ad by Kurt Barthel, founder of the first official US nudist camp, inviting like-minded people to join him. * The Sex Party started in British Columbia, Canada, in 2005 calls itself ‘the world’s first registered political party dedicated exclusively to sex-positive issues’, promoting public nudity and a gradual learning of sexual activity.

‘Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.’ Marilyn Monroe


The popular book A Marriage Manual (1935) by Hannah and Abraham Stone offered couples advice and information on sexuality in marriage and they also set up America’s first marriage guidance service. Their studies found:

Подпись: In 2006, a Christian couple from south Wales launched a website celebrating sex inside marriage after visiting a sex shop and discovering the high prices. The site offers advice and sex, focusing on the positive side of sex minus the sleaze and with support from church leaders.

О 76 per cent of women had a ‘normal sexual attitude’ ф 20 per cent of
women were not interested in sex ф 4 per cent of women did not enjoy sex
О 85 per cent of couples had sex two to three times a week ф 4 per cent
had sex on a daily basis.

THE SEXPERTS‘Bachelors know more about women than married men;
if they didn’t, they’d be married too.’ Henry Louis Mencken


‘I know nothing about sex because I was always
married.’ Zsa Zsa Gabor


‘Sex is always tempting, but always with my husband.’
Kate Hudson, actress, toes the marital line

‘Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a
woman a ring.’ Mae West

THE SEXPERTSAncient Egyptians believed the vein of love
ran straight from the ring finger, fourth on the left hand,
to the heart.

♦ ♦♦

These days, life is perhaps less romantic and 35 per cent of
those who use personal ads for dating are married.


‘What spirit is so empty and blind that it cannot recognize the fact
that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful
than the garment with which it is clothed?’ Michelangelo


The naked body is only natural, but convention still directs most of us to cover up most of the time.

ATopfreedom is a movement promoting women’s right to go topless in the
same situations as men. AStarkers Nightclub in London has a strict undress
code where nudity is safe and ‘attitude-free’ – for the staff and clientele.
AStrip at Morga Dyffryn beach, Wales, with a nudist camp and beach, was
named by The Sunday Times as one of the 50 best days out in Britain in 2007

Подпись: The Naturist Society says that naturism is not a code for sex or lewd behaviour but rather 'a way of living in greater fidelity to nature, with a norm of full nudity in social life, the genitals included, when possible and appropriate. We aim to enhance acceptance and respect for one's self, other persons and the biosphere.' (1997)