When it comes to attracting a partner, some have a natural flair for flirting, while others have a natural fear. Then there are those with the confidence and the persistence – but no idea.
American sexologist John Money introduced the idea of the’lovemap’ in 1980. Triggers in the mind go off when people see something in someone they like. These triggers are set during youth, but can alter with age and experience. Lovemaps appear in the subconscious and are idealized erotic guides to Mr and Mrs Right – and to Mr and Mrs Wrong. Many researchers suggest choices resemble people’s parents, strong characters from childhood or even themselves. The tendency is to pick partners with similar looks and intelligence; however, it is also the case that opposites attract as people seek attributes they lack or find exciting and new. Turn-ons reveal themselves via all the senses, initially blinding people to any flaws. That’s love. And where ‘love is blind’ comes from.
Invented by Lilibet Foster and Lynn Fischer, ‘Bar Code’ is a sign language that allows the timid and tongue-tied to communicate with their hands, chat up potential dates and remain cool, calm and collected without the public humiliation of everyone else hearing you.
You know you’ve had a successful date when they ask,
‘When will I see you again?’.
If they reply, ‘I’ll call you,’ you know when you haven’t.
‘Sex appeal is fifty per cent what you’ve got and fifty per cent what
people think you’ve got.’ Sophia Loren