Touch has been called the true language of sex. From the first gentle grazing of fingertips to sexual intercourse, touch is how we form an intimate bond with a partner and experience a wide variety of physi­cal pleasures. Your ability to communicate different positive moods and messages with touch can greatly enhance your sexual experiences.

Just as it helps to improve your ability to talk about sex and the way you “see” your partner physically, it is also important to be proficient in the language of touch. The way you touch, where you touch, and when you touch communicates to your partner how you feel and what you desire.

Touch communications are not always easily understood. You may think you are saying one thing with your hands or fingers when your partner interprets it as something else. Unless you take the time to un­derstand each other, it’s easy to misunderstand what is being communi­cated and jump to a false conclusion about what your partner wants or is willing to do sexually. It’s no wonder that many of the difficulties couples encounter with sex can be traced to problems caused by misunderstand­ings about touch and its intention.

The following touch exercise can help you expand your touch vo­cabulary and communicate more clearly with sensual and sexual touch.